Awakening

I was stirred to consciousness by the caress of waves to the hull; an early departure from the reincarnate harbor disturbing the morning glass. The evening before, as I stroked my way from some final pub to Deidre's mooring, it had been a cacophony of worldly celebration - laughter, drinking, music and the hum of crowds. And while pleasant enough, especially after my countless samplings of the local rums, the evening paled when compared with the Eden-like wash that gave birth to the day in such places as this. The morning sea smells mixed with creosote and marsh grasses, and the first glow of the rising sun, cleansed the world as if God awakened them anew just for me on this day. The calm cool air, too new even for the first calls of the birds, filled me with hope and cleansed prior sins - a sailor's communion. Little did I know, how short-lived my purity would be.

Déjà Vu - Nothing Happens Once (Teaser)

Let's call this a teaser. It's a fragment of a story idea. Does it make you want more?

The days of fever and its spiteful sleep unleashed memories from within the old man's mind. Those of another life, in another land and another time.

He knew himself, a Mongol, a leader of men, under attack and bound by honor to protect the many while the young daughter who proudly stood at his side and helped as one of only 6 years could, was his true heart. For beyond the father's love, which no one could doubt, he also knew that she held the secret - the gift or curse, that would change man's future for generations to come.

Her name was Tsao-Chi and she worshiped her father, sure he knew all. In moments free from toil or study, they fought with swords of bamboo, built toy castles of sticks, clay and leaves, and made fire dance with trails of black powder. All of this drove little Chi's mother mad at its impropriety for a girl-child, but what is a father with no son to do?

Lament

Inspired by life and The Book of Lamentations.

And so it ends. And so it begins.

We enter a season that will only hurt all. Each other. Our child. Our families.

The loss engulfs me in dread. I put a brave face on it for my child, but inwardly, I quake. There's a hollowness in my soul and lead on my chest; from task to task, an effort to persevere. I age. This year will steal five.

There's the loss of the other; that is obvious, but there's the loss of the family. Christmas mornings, now empty. Game nights, played out. Laughter, no more. The singing, unanswered. The banter, now silent.

My mother-in-law, so good to my child, ripped from my life. My own aging mother, who benefited the gift of the other, now left to me alone to aid. All while I drown in a sea of un-shared responsibility, anguish, shame, doubt and regret.

The next year is to be hell. One I share no small part in inviting. I see the justice. I feel remorse for my failings. Perhaps God is vengeful, after all.

People I love, rely on me; my sole reason to push on, even as the cause seems beyond hope. Reinvent our lives. Make them warm, happy and love-filled for my child. Make it less lonely for me.

God, see my heart. Know my regret. Feel the love I have to give. Help me make amends and learn to live well. I can't believe you would put me here to fail. The clock is running and more deserving than I, require me to be a better man. Please help me.

Watching from the dim

They do not know, this is their time

Before the shit that happens that we call life
If they did, they would embrace, and laugh and love
The sounds, the smells
The flashing lights, the pounding music
The nonstop flow of young souls traveling through the night
Pausing at the light
Traveling on their way to what they don't know is their very best night

The ocean waves crash near
The sand, the sun, the irresponsible fun
Embrace it, save it
You'll need it near one day

For before long, it will be gone
You'll be outside, watching
As others let it pass them by
Unaware
You'll wish that you could make it clear
To help, to steer
To spare regret